


Cardigan

by cozy_downpour



Category: USWNT - Fandom, woso
Genre: F/F, Pining, mean girl alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cozy_downpour/pseuds/cozy_downpour
Summary: "And when I felt like I was an old cardiganUnder someone's bedYou put me on and said I was your favorite"Alex keeps putting Tobin on like an old favorite cardigan, but she finds Christen much cozier.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press, one sided Tobin Heath/Alex Morgan
Comments: 26
Kudos: 166





	1. When you are young, they assume you know nothing

**Author's Note:**

> So bear with me. I have the second half of this almost done but it felt like it needed to be split into two. Mother Knows Best is coming soon I've just been a bit distracted. Yes, Alex is a mean girl in this. Very mean. Sorry. Based on Taylor Swift's Cardigan, this follows Tobin realizing that she was falling for Alex, being used by Alex and then falling for Christen who treats her better. Hope you enjoy. it's my first music fic!

_ Vintage tee, brand new phone _

_ High heels on cobblestones _

_ When you are young, they assume you know nothing _

_ Sequin smile, black lipstick _

_ Sensual politics _

_ When you are young, they assume you know nothing _

“Just a few more seconds,” she says as she pushes the lipstick to Tobin’s lips. Tobin doesn’t always like this part of being best friends with Alex, but she can never say no to her. The sapphire eyes blinking wide as she begs “Just one coat of nail polish Toby,” and Tobin has to remember how to stay still while her heartbeat flutters as Alex holds her left hand delicately in hers. She tsks at the calluses, remarks that ‘you should get a manicure when we head to Portland’ but Tobin’s nose scrunches up at the thought anyway. (Tobin knows she’ll be in that leather chair at her side picking clear just to give her peace of mind).

“It tastes like honey,” Tobin laughs, licking at the smoothness covering her lips. A part of her wishes she were licking off the gloss from one of Alex’s pouty kisses. Alex rolls her eyes, not too jokingly. 

“It’s not a snack Tobin.” She warns, grabbing her purse and tugging at the honeyed brunette’s top. Tobin won her in the fashion fight, getting to keep her skinny jeans and a muscle tank instead of a dress as she insisted. “Bring the cardigan in case you get cold, and don’t forget the heels.”

Tobin rolls her eyes, picking up the navy blue cardigan from its spot on the back of the hotel room’s desk chair. It was always like this. A fantastic win in the early evening and an excuse to go out in the twilight. Tobin makes sure to slip on the heels Alex placed on her bed earlier that night, praying that she doesn’t tweak an ankle before the next game in the victory tour.

Together they head into the hall, going to link up with Syd and some of the other players ready to head to a local bar. There’s a lot of buzzing conversation, Rampone is retiring at the end of the tour and no one is quite ready to let go of her yet. 

“Oh, Amy said she wasn’t feeling well so she’s not coming. Cheney’s gonna stick by her too, so don’t go wandering off tonight okay?” Alex says as she rounds the corner to the elevator. 

Tobin takes a breath, not entirely wanting to head out in the first place. But she knows Alex won’t let her live it down if she doesn’t go out tonight. Tobin walks out on the cobblestone streets outside the hotel lobby and takes a deep breath of the night air. It’s a crisp late summer night and there’s a slight breeze tickling the hairs on her arms. Tobin’s heel clicks slightly but that’s no matter when fighting to keep up with Alex as she makes her way to the bar. Syd trailing behind with Heather and Megan on her sides. God knows they all needed a night to let loose.

A woman bumps into Tobin as she heads her way back towards the hotel. “Ow,”

“Oh darn it! Sorry, Tobin! It’s getting dark out here I didn’t see you.” It’s Christen. Her dark curls are pouring out from under a worn gray Stanford hoodie with sleeves just a little too big for her arms. She carries a bag at her side, green eyes bright in the dim of a streetlight. Tobin can’t bring herself to look away from them.

“Hey, it’s no big deal. Where are you coming back from?” Tobin curiously says, eyeing the bag. Christen was shy and pretty quiet so it wasn’t surprising she wandered off all alone from the group. Christen shrugs, showing off the lettering on the side of the bag.  _ Eve’s Tree. _

“It’s a local bookstore! Just got some more reading for our flights…” Christen glances at Tobin’s heels, a brow raised like she already knows it’s outside of her comfort zone. She’s about to make a comment then second guesses it, watching Tobin’s weary face as Alex grabs her arm and tugs, “We can’t be out after midnight, come on Toby,”

“Oh that sounds cool- I uh have to go we’re going for drinks if you want to come,” Tobin stumbles over her words and blames it on the street lamp shining just a little too bright while her brain knows it’s because the light hit Christen’s beautiful grey-green eyes framed by black lashes so perfectly—-

Alex stops her next thought by nudging Tobin at the door for her ID. Tobin scrambles to flash it, trying not to give the underpaid staffer attitude when they check it out. Christen says thanks for the invite and headed home to the hotel anyway. Tobin watched her walk away and felt herself longing to go with her. She’s tired of the bar scene that Alex drags her to every trip she can.

“We still look that young seriously?” Alex grumbles about the ID check as she decides to order straight from the bar and open up her own tab. Tobin agrees, being 24 with a babyface was never fun. Tobin pushes back her long hair, taking a seat at the bar, and orders the IPA on tap. Alex is already talking to some tall guy and she’s now sitting alone at the bar feeling pathetic. It’s not even like she wants a boyfriend, she never really has but she doesn’t like it when Alex leaves her alone for one, the numerous times it has happened. Just for once, Tobin would like Alex to treat her like the best friend she claims she is when they get to the bar. 

“Baby horse has got game, I’ll give her that.” Abby Wambach slides into the stool beside Tobin. She’s got a button up with two buttons down, and a beanie over her short bleached hair, her eyes staring at the beer Tobin’s hardly touched. 

“She just blinks her blue eyes and they come running,” Tobin mumbles, glancing back over to Alex who’s now entertaining men on the dance floor. Syd joins her, watching to make sure the guys aren’t getting too handsy. Her eyes follow as Alex grinds against one with brown curls and blue eyes, his arms around her hips— Tobin turns back to her drink feeling the jealousy tugging at her stomach. She kind of wants to vomit thinking about a man grabbing Alex like that, it’s not even the slightest bit of sexy.  _ What happened to smooth moves _ ?

“Ouch...someone’s a bit grumpy and jealous I see,” Abby teases Tobin, nudging her shoulder. Tobin tries to grumble under her breath that she wants to be alone but Abby doesn’t hear it over the roar of the music and drunk patrons. “Why are you spending your night out sulking at the bar Tobs?”

“First off I’m not sulking,” Tobin retorts, chugging her beer to push down the feelings she has swirling in her guts. “And secondly, I’m not jealous. Alex has like 20 guys after her every time we go out and that’s just like exhausting.”

Tobin watches how Abby’s eyes gleam at her words and she licks her lips before replying. “Tobin, you’re not even jealous that she has guys up on her?” She questions, acting like she’s discovered gold. Abby has seen the way these two became friends since Alex’s first call up and she can see Tobin’s _ (obvious)  _ girl crush. Whether Tobin knows she has one or not that is. The brunette scoffs, shaking her head angrily.

“I’m just pissed that she’s spending our free time with other people. Would it kill her to have a beer with her best friend at the actual bar and not the dancefloor?” Tobin deflects Abby’s questioning and answers her own, making the decision then and there that she was jealous of the attention but not that she wanted it from the men. Jealous that they got her friend’s attention and all she has is a half-drunk beer and her captain on her ass. 

_ But I knew you _

_ Dancin’ in your Levi’s _

_ Drunk under a streetlight, I _

_ I knew you _

_ Hand under my sweatshirt _

_ Baby, kiss it better, I _

“He is just so dreamy...isn’t he Toby?” Alex croons as the clock strikes 11 pm, the bartender cleaning up her empty vodka soda glass and lingering around incase she wants another one. Tobin rolls her eyes, knowing the drunk girl won’t see it. She hands Alex her cardigan, hopping off the stool and helping the younger woman get off of hers. 

“I’m hot,” Alex refuses the cardigan, shoving it back into Tobin’s hands. She sighs, throwing it over her shoulder and asks the bartender to close every tab from team members. Most had already left but she wanted to be sure they closed. 

“You’re all good. The women’s team is always welcome. Now get her to bed,” The bartender, Garett, shoos them out so he can clean up before the next round of guests. Bar patrons come in waves, the older crews around 9pm-11pm, while the younger kids who bar hopped ended at his around 12-1. 

“Aye aye captain!” Tobin mock salutes him as she links arms with Alex and gets her out of the bar without twisting an ankle. They head along the cobblestone path back to the hotel while Alex pauses and giggles along the way. 

“You should have danced tonight,” Alex says as she pauses on their walk, wiggling her hips in an attempt to dance. Tobin shakes her head, flushed. 

“That’s not really my style Al, you know that,” She counters, having only had one drink, Tobin was too sober for this conversation. Her eyes watch for Alex’s ankles, praying for them not to roll as she moves in her slim heels.

“You know,” Alex starts, hand pulling at Tobin’s oversized tank top. “Some guy dancing with me said you were hot but looked lonely at the bar. He really wanted you, and I may have gotten his number,”

Tobin’s heart sinks as she pulls back but it’s too late. Alex has them circling a street lamp and she hangs off of it as she moves to her own beat. 

“Alex...I’m not really-” She tries to tell the younger woman but Alex doesn’t bother listening to her. Tobin bites her tongue, growing frustrated at her. 

“Interested! God don’t tell me you still keep some virginity pledge,” Alex rolls her eyes at Tobin, sighing. Alex is tired of this push and pull that she has with Tobin. She’s making a low pass at her, even her drunk brain knows that but she wants to push. It seems like no matter who she throws at Tobin, the other girl just clams up. Tobin’s lower lip pouts out of habit at Alex’s comment, her eyes narrowing at her best friend. 

“Let’s just go home Al,” Tobin cuts in feeling her nerves grating as Alex keeps talking. She doesn’t want to have this conversation here, not now. Not while her stomach is doing flips at the presence of Alex’s warm hand on her stomach. 

“Have you ever had a kiss?” The tipsy brunette laughs, pulling Tobin’s top closer until they’re breaths apart. Tobin’s cheeks are red with embarrassment and she can feel the wind picking up, whipping against her face as she holds everything in her back.  _ God I can’t just—do this, it’s taking everything in me to not— _

She’s holding back the indescribable feelings that Alex has always given her. From the way her heart buzzes at the flirty looks she’ll give her while trying to bluff in Monopoly Deal, to the way she smells her perfume linger even after the shortest of hugs. Tobin  _ knows _ that these aren’t normal feelings but she also knows that she can’t admit what they are.

“You haven’t gotten even one, have you?” Alex teases in a silky voice, licking her lower lip while her blue eyes seek out Tobin’s watery brown ones.

_ their lips brush _ .

And Tobin breaks. She pushes Alex back with all the force in her sinewy arms, knowing they’re just a few steps away from the hotel at this rate. She runs to it, leaving Alex frozen on the cobblestone pavement. 

What Tobin doesn’t know there is a pair of jade green eyes watching the exchange happen through her window. 

_ And when I felt like I was an old cardigan _

_ Under someone's bed _

_ You put me on and said I was your favorite _

“Tobs?” Christen asks it softly, trying not to startle the clearly upset woman who had fallen asleep crying in the hotel stairwell. 

“Chris?” Tobin opens one bleary eye, staring up at the woman who seems to be her guardian angel come alive.,

“Hi,” Christen offers quietly, sinking down beside Tobin. She pulls the discarded cardigan out from where Tobin had haphazardly used it as a pillow. Her hands are rolling the fabric through her fingers while they sit with tense filled inches across from each other. “Cheney ended up falling asleep in Amy’s so we did a little swap for the night. You weren’t back after 11 and I came down to the night guard on shift trying to identify you from the security cam. Think he would have sent in security to take you out of here. But I let him know you fell asleep & I’d watch over you.” 

Tobin listens to Christen’s explanation, her gaze on the cardigan slipping between her fingertips. Christen has on white nail polish this camp but Tobin knows she often likes to change it up every few games. Even though they keep their nails short for the game, it’s still a fun team bonding experience to paint each other’s nails and gossip in their rooms. 

“How long have I been asleep for?” Tobin asks, her dry eyes and parched mouth giving her a slight insight. She rubs at her eyes again, trying not to think about what happened before the running. Christen reaches out and holds Tobin’s shoulder softly. She checks her phone for a few quick moments before letting her know it’s 6AM. 

a resounding “Fuck” escapes Tobin’s mouth. First of all she was too emotionally hungover to be awake this early, and secondly they had an afternoon flight which doesn’t help matters because Alex was supposed to be her seat buddy. 

And she could not handle Alex Morgan like this. 

“Don’t worry! I just mean—I know you shove everything in and pack up Tobin.” Christen teases from the experience of being her roommate on occasion. Tobin, the self proclaimed nomad that she has packing down to well a Tobin type of science. This science included shoving everything she owned into a suitcase and hoping for the best. And usually she got away with it too (minus an eventful luggage snafu that included her breaking her glasses, and losing her contacts out of an unzipped upper pouch). 

“Yeah, I’m not worried about that.” Tobin replies, sitting up and licking her lips. “I need a shower, I still smell like the bar.” She wrinkles her nose, feeling stale and gross after a night spent on a hotel’s stairwell. 

“You never like those places yet you’re always dragged to them.” Christen states, raising her brows at the older player. Tobin shrugs, not wanting to get into all of that. 

“It’s what friends do,” She offers up sheepishly, making her way towards the door to the lobby. Christen doesn’t reply, knowing it was a bit touchy from Tobin’s reply. She thanks the front desk clerk, sliding a small tip as a gift for not calling security or minding that there was a drunk woman asleep in the stairwell. They head into the elevator to get up to their room. 

“So the night was that wild, huh?” Christen asks, not wanting to pry but still curious about what led Tobin to the stairwell. After all she had seen her and Alex kiss, she figured Tobin would be over the moon about it. 

Christen has a bit of a secret. She’s had a crush on Tobin for months now, but couldn’t help to see Tobin’s crush on Alex blossoming. Sometimes it’s a curse, being able to tell who’s attracted to women as well honestly. She watches as Tobin sighs, bracing herself against the cool metallic bar behind herself. 

“I uh- was drunk and just queasy thinking about getting in the elevator so I was just going to climb up but clearly that didn’t work,” Tobin lies. She wants to tell Christen the truth, she does but she also knows that well she’d have to bring up the  _ kiss _ , and that was not happening. Christen hums in acknowledgment, figuring the brunette was just keeping things to herself. 

They get to their room and Tobin beelines to the bathroom, immediately needing the events of last night purged from her skin. She wished the memory could be scrubbed away too. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it but Alex is straight, and Tobin knew that it meant nothing to the striker. Plus it hurt when she had mentioned her lack of kissing. 

Tobin lets out a frustrated sigh at the conflicting feelings in her head as they bounced from having to admit maybe she found girls attractive to if Alex really is straight and if so why is she kissing someone she also thinks is straight...and if she thinks Tobin is straight at all. 

She sets down the conditioner with a hard slam, watching the plastic rattle around the tub of the hotel shower and lets out a cry. Crying at the situation with Alex. Crying about hiding herself, and being unsure of who she is. Crying about lying to Christen, who was simply an innocent in all of this. 

“Tobs? You okay in there?” Christen interrupts her crying session, hearing the sounds silent as she knocks. 

“‘M fine.” Tobin mumbles as she hurries to finish her shower. 

Christen on the other side of the door isn’t too sure. She figured Tobin was just a bit more hungover than she expected and clumsy. But something about one of the sounds told her that perhaps Tobin was crying as well. 

Finally the water shuts off and Christen walks back to her bed, pulling a book from her carry on bag to skim as she waits for Tobin to emerge. 

The brunette pulls on her towel as she opens the bathroom door, letting the steam out. 

“Just dropped the conditioner,” She says while going towards her duffle bag for some clothes. Christen raises her gaze from her book slightly, watching the trails of water slide down Tobin’s arms. She adverts her eyes back to the book as Tobin slides on her sweats and tee. 

“Do you want some breakfast? I’m starved,” Christen breaks the silence of the room after a few minutes of Tobin shuffling around to repack herself. 

“Food sounds great, I’m in.”

*

The pair head into the free hotel breakfast bar where the rest of the team were loading up on waffles. Arod waves Tobin over, her plate looking bare. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Tobin asks as she heads to Arod and Cheney’s table. Christen drops back to grab herself a plate and let Tobin talk to her friends. She ends up sitting a few tables over with Alyssa who was reading a book while eating. 

“Was wondering how the bar went last night? I would have come but I wasn’t feeling the best.” Arod says while poking at a grape on her plate. 

“Oh um it wasn’t bad. Great beer, and super nice set up.” Tobin replies, feeling a bit uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to talk about the bar but knows Arod and Cheney missed out. So she has to talk about it for their sake. “Are you feeling better?”

“She’ll be better in 9 months—“

“Lauren!” Arod chastises the other woman beside her, shoving her slightly as Tobin’s eyes widened. 

“Cheney...she’s not? Amy are you seriously—” Tobin asks in a hushed tone, leaning into the table. It was clearly hush hush but if Cheney meant what she said then Arod could be out for months. 

“I haven’t taken a test yet.” Arod says, glaring at the two of them to be quiet in the crowded breakfast bar. Tobin chews on her bottom lip but decides to be quiet for Arod’s sake while Cheney rolls her eyes. 

“She’s swollen and queasy, and missed her last cycle. It’s adding up is all I’m saying.” She replies with a chuckle. Arod sighs and leans on Cheney’s shoulder, knowing she’s right. Tobin gets up and rubs Amy’s shoulder while on her way to get herself some food. 

“That’s not enough food for a hangover Tobes,” 

Tobin turns to face Alex with a groan of exhaustion. The dark haired forward had a pile of eggs, waffles, fruit & bacon on her own plate. She’d even taken the time to put on makeup this morning with mascara and pink glossy lips. 

“I’m not even hungry.” Tobin grumbled, taking her plate away from the serving bar as Alex watched like a hawk. She slides back across from Arod and Cheney, trying to eat her cereal and fruit in peace away from Alex. 

Christen watches from the quiet table, her eyes following the body language from each woman. They’re both angry and taking it out in different ways. Alex sits down with HAO and Abby, rolling her eyes at Tobin’s attitude. 

Christen eats slowly, feeling the tension and also understanding that Tobin was clearly upset with Alex possibly most likely due to the kiss. 

The team finishes breakfast and is called in for a brief film review session as part of their downtime. The small movie room had a pretty particular set up that the coaches and staff preferred with 3 rows of 3 to start with. Tobin makes her way to the front row begrudgingly. She could theoretically sit in the middle row but Pia had written notes with Dawn about her eyesight in 2011 when she got her eyes tested by Nike and they found some revealing results. She was pretty nearsighted. Tobin had just thought that most people in school were unable to read the board, so she tried to sit close to the front. Plus it was easier to leave when she had a game mid class. And it helped that the cute TAs were always willing to send a few notes her way in college. 

Tobin slides into her seat, pulling her knees to her chest as she watches the room fill with her teammates. Becky sits behind her, taking a long sip of coffee. 

“Tobes you look half dead, did you even drink coffee this morning?” She remarks while offering her cup for a swig. Tobin turns her head, still feeling crappy over the whole situation. Becky was right, she hadn’t had coffee.

“Was rushing to eat before this, thanks,” Tobin says as she sips the warm drink. Hopefully the caffeine will help her feel more alert throughout the notoriously boring film review. 

“I could have gotten you a coffee Toby,” 

Tobin feels her heart drop the moment Alex slides into the seat beside her. She’s frustrated as she hands the cup back to Becky.

“Easier to take some of Becky’s.” Tobin grumbles, her eyes watching Christen slide to the back of the room while Jill prepares the projector. She’s trying to take everything in her to not look at Alex. 

Jill’s words fly through Tobin’s ears, leaving her with a buzzing gist of what was said but her mind won’t stop replaying last night. Eventually Jill calls for a stretch break and the lights come back on. 

“Are you like, ignoring me?” 

Tobin turns to face Alex, her brows furrowed and jaw set at the very question. Is she ignoring Alex? Possibly. Does she want to tell her that? Not entirely. 

“Al...I just need some space right now. I hardly slept.” She stumbles over her words but gets the point across. Alex immediately takes a heavy breath. 

“Space from your own best friend?” She sksks Tobin with a slender eyebrow raised over darkening blue eyes. “Come on, I wanna play monop deal on the bus to the airport at least?”

Tobin sits back down as Jill signals that the tapes are starting again. She reluctantly nods to Alex, promising to play the game with her for rituals sake despite being angry with her. 


	2. Chase two girls, lose the one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin confronts Alex as she acts like nothing happened and Christen confronts Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've kind of realized this needs 3 chapters to fit the lyrics. So just heads up.

_ A friend to all is a friend to none _

_ Chase two girls, lose the one _

_ When you are young, they assume you know nothing _

The team heads on to the next city for a victory tour and Tobin feels ready to throw up on the bus from the airport to the hotel. She had spent the bus to the Pittsburgh airport playing monop deal with Alex like she promised but not saying much else to the younger woman. And it wasn’t like she didn’t have anything to say, it was more like if she did say what she wanted to she could be kicked off the team. She’s angry and hurt, at both Alex and herself because no matter what she does sitting in that bus chair her body picks up on Alex’s floral perfume and her warm, pink lips.

Though with a small prayer to guide her Tobin seated with HAO instead of Alex on the flight. It was easy enough since their tradition for routine was limited with bus buddy superstitions. But about 15 minutes into the flight Heather pulled back her noise cancelling headphones and poked Tobin. 

“What’s going on Tobs?” She asks right away, noticing how the brunette slouched more so than usual and had a permanent crease in her forehead as she watched out the foggy window of the plane. 

“It’s nothing HAO,” Tobin replies sharply, turning her body inwards more. Questioning was the last thing she needed on this flight. 

“Okay! No need to bite my head off. You should try to sleep, ask if you want my eyemask.” HAO says as she holds her hands up. Tobin chews on her lower lip for a moment, eyes big and glassy before she blinks. 

“I…” She tries to tell Heather. “I’m sorry I just had a long night last night.” 

Heather’s brow rises and she reaches out to ruffle Tobin’s hair. “You idiot! You stayed out all night and here I was thinking someone close to you died, you were so mopey!”

Tobin flushes, straight crimson to her dimpled cheeks as she thinks about HAO’s words. Someone close to her had died, she figures.  _ Alex _ . 

She looks past her mentor and sees Alex across the aisle curled up in her sweatshirt watching the vampire diaries on her phone with her headphones in. Her blue eyes shining in the light of the afternoon sun as they headed to Tennessee. 

“Sorry...Al kept me out late don’t blame me!” Tobin says as she tries not to think about last night and how it all went wrong between her and Alex. She looks away from Alex shamefully, eyes catching the briefest peak of Christen reading with a huge travel pillow around her neck next to Becky. 

This flight was simply too long. 

—

Once settled in Tennessee the girls had an early night before their training tomorrow to get used to the sluggish summer humidity in the south. 

Christen sits beside Tobin at dinner, Ashlyn and Moe at her table as well. The brunette looked better than she had the night before, but still Christen could see Tobin’s hollowness and unease with everything. 

As they sit down in their private dining room, Jill walks up to the microphone at the podium in the center of the room. Each girl had a steaming plate of the dinner, a pasta meal with salad before them. Jill clears her throat and turns her mic on.

“So...while you all enjoy dinner I thought I would say some congratulations. I’ve already finalized the roster for our game against Costa Rica in two days and it looks like we have a special 100 cap member coming up!”

The girls immediately start chattering amongst themselves, trying to figure out who was getting their 100th. Ashlyn leans into the table raising her brows. 

  
“I’ll bet a ten on whoever you think it is Tobs,” She says with a smirk, teasing the younger player. Tobin rolls her eyes, shaking her head. 

“I’m not betting on someone’s 100 cap. Isn’t that like bad luck?” Tobin replies with a furrowed brow as she takes a bite of her pasta. 

“I think it’s gotta be like someone old. Like Abby's age? What about HAO?” Moe chimes in with a naive voice. She’s really new and trying to get her voice heard. Ashlyn wrinkles her nose.    
  


“Nah HAO’s hella old. Didn’t she get that cap before Tobs was called up?” She asks, shaking her head at the audacity of Moe. Tobin bites her lip, making eye contact with Jill as she clears her throat for attention once again from the unruly team. 

“Our very own nutmeg queen Tobin has been here for 100 starts!” Jill claps and the room bursts into whoops and yells. Tobin turns to Christen, watching the younger girls green eyes widen as she realizes how important this is for the brunette. She reaches over to squeeze Tobin’s shoulder gently, comforting her.   
  


“Congrats,” Christen says in a soft voice, just for Tobin to hear as she gets crowded by her teammates with congratulations. Tobin is sure her face is red as she sinks back into her chair while everyone rushes over. Pinoe kisses her head, HAO cheering gleefully, and Carli even gives her a fair handshake of celebration. 

“Settle down, settle-- don’t smother her!” Jill walks into the fray, hugging Tobin gently. “We’ve already arranged for your brother to come to the next game for the celebration. Parents and cousins will be in the box. They told me to tell you about a 100 Caps dinner. You can pick a couple of teammates to come out together too after the game.”

Tobin thanks Jill for the information and then tries to spend the rest of the night without so much fanfare. The last thing she needs is to be caught up with Cheney trying to get her to wear a ribbon in her hair for the next game while her mind is full of god knows what else. It feels like every few hours her brain reminds her of that  _ stupid _ kiss Alex gave her, and she sinks into another cycle of frustration over it. 

“Are you going to invite anyone to dinner?” Christen asks absently as they relax in their room. She’s got a book in her hand, glasses on, and a popsicle in the other. Tobin looks up from her own book she’s reading while hanging off the side of the bed, glasses close to falling off. Christen’s upside down in her eyes but not any less pretty. Her heart pangs and she pulls herself up, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Why? You wanna come?” Tobin asks playfully, trying not to watch Christen lick the frozen lemon popsicle. Her pink tongue catching droplets of the sweet, sugary treat. The darker skinned woman giggled as she tried to stop the popsicle from dripping.

“Of course I’ll come, Tobes!” She exclaims, between bites. Tobin blushes, not expecting her to agree. She scrambles to reach for her phone, going to text her parents.  _ Christen coming to dinner would be fun right? She’s cool, and you’ve known her for like ever. Perfect.  _

“Oh! Yes, uh thanks Chris. Let me just--”

“Toby!”

_ Fuck. _

They hadn’t locked their door yet for the night. Not uncommon since teammates wander in and out of each other's rooms often. Unfortunately, the one girl Tobin didn’t want to see walked in.

“Alex, we’re about to turn in. What’s up?” Tobin asks, trying not to show her annoyance. The dark haired girl was really acting like nothing happened the other night. But the kiss haunts her dreams, and her every thought and Tobin hates herself for enjoying part of it. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not to her. 

Alex slinks into the room, leaning against Tobin’s bedside table with a sigh.

“You never came to talk to me about your 100 cap dinner, Tobs. I just wanted to know if I was invited, like you know?” She frowns, looking down at Tobin laying back on the bed. Christen makes a small cough, confused because she was invited but she didn’t know if she should say anything. Tobin sits up, pushing messy brown hair back. 

“Of course you’re invited Al. Couldn’t imagine it any other way.” She says, trying her best to avoid the hurt look on Christen’s face when she realizes it won’t be just the two of them. “Um… Chris is coming too.”

“No problem. As long as I’m not next to Jeff, I’m good.” Alex teases, not caring less about Christen coming as long as she gets to be with Tobin. 

“Alex that was one time he was like 16-”

“Whatever. He’s gross.”

“Agreed.”

_ But I knew you _

_ Playing hide-and-seek and _

_ Giving me your weekends, I _

_ I knew you _

_ Your heartbeat on the High Line _

_ Once in twenty lifetimes,  _

The next day’s practice Alex still hangs onto Tobin like a lost puppy, and it drives her crazy. She doesn’t understand why. Tobin feels like there’s some huge nagging joke on her that she hasn’t figured out. She hasn’t felt like this since highschool. And it doesn’t help matters that her mind keeps wandering off into thoughts of soft warm lips like Alex’s felt, but that belonged to Christen. 

“You know I’ve been talking to Serva again and he has a friend who would totally go on a date with you--”

“Can you stop!” Tobin snaps. She doesn’t mean to but she also isn’t exactly apologetic about it. They’re in the locker room with most of the team heading into ice baths. All of her years with Alex come flashing before her eyes.

_ “Hold on, Tobin’s tangled up-” _

_ “Am not!” Tobin turns pink as she feels warm hands grip her shoulders as she struggles to get off a sweaty training top and undershirt with a sports bra caught up in it. Alex is trying to stop her frantic movements, and guides the fabric up and over her head with one hand while the other tries to keep the sports bra in place. It works, the training tee and undershirt chucked onto the floor as Tobin takes a deep breath.  _

_ She holds onto her arm, sheepishly covering her torso as she looks up at Alex. Her face is flushed as she thinks about the lingering touch, and it didn’t help that Alex was already in just a blue sports bra and black spandex for the ice bath being drawn. Tobin tries not to stare at the chiseled abs lining Alex’s stomach, her eyes eventually finding the floor. Her heart is racing with growing disgust at her own feelings. She knows why her body feels hot and it has nothing to do with the drills she completed before changing.  _

_ “Thanks Alex…” Tobin says softly, feeling embarrassed by it all. Alex chuckles, tracing her fingers up and down Tobin’s shoulder watching goosebumps rise.  _

_ “Take it slow next time, okay?” She warns.  _

_ “Okay.”  _

“Tobin!? What the hell?” Alex is startled by Tobin’s reaction, stepping back with wide blue eyes. Tobin knows that someone from the team is probably hanging back in the hallway listening in so she keeps herself composed as best she can. 

“Stop trying to get me to go on all these crummy dates with stupid guys.” Tobin says firmly as she shoves her cleats into her boot bag. Alex looks apologetic for a moment, the silence between them hanging like fog in a bay. 

“It’s just that I’ve never seen you interested, and like I just don’t want to see you sad and alone. You’re my best friend, and I care about you.” Alex speaks gently, leaving Tobin a chance to scoff at her. She can’t believe the audacity. 

“I’m not sad or lonely. You have to stop trying to fix me or whatever this is.” Tobin replies as she rips off her training pants and pulls out spandex to wear into the ice bath. Alex reaches out for her, grasping her shoulder with her fingertips. 

“Tobin, what’s going on with you?” She asks while watching Tobin ball her fists up at her side. She’s finally changed and starts heading to the ice baths. Alex isn’t budging though. In fact Alex looks more attentive than ever, determined to stay in place while she tries to piece together why Tobin is upset. 

“What’s going on is that you kissed me, and it’s all I had ever wanted but it didn’t magically make you like me and that…well that hurts like hell.” Tobin says while pushing her way through the hallway, pulling up her hair with a ponytail holder between her teeth. She’s frustrated, and it’s showing. Tobin doesn’t know how much more she can take of Alex. She supposes that if there’s any way to free herself from the clutches of the memory swirling in her brain, it would be to burn a bridge like this outright.

Alex catches up with her, stepping in front of her and blocking every time she tries to move. 

“Tobin!” Alex exclaims while she holds her arms out to trap Tobin in the hallway. “We were drunk, what does a dumb kiss with my best friend matter? I was giving you your first one wasn’t I?”

Tobin bites her lip, looking up into her blue eyes. She shakes her head, trying to push through Alex’s arms instead of answering her. Tears are starting to trickle down her sun kissed cheeks, and Alex still doesn’t budge. “I just don’t get why a kiss has you all out of whack?”

“Alex! She’s crying, leave her alone.”

Tobin looks up and sees Christen holding a towel, glaring at Alex, who reluctantly steps back. Tobin takes this chance to slip by her and reaches out to hold Christen’s arm, tugging her along. 

They walk silently into an ice bath where Tobin spends her 10 minutes praying that her tears looked like they were just from the ice stinging her scrapes from practice. Christen was quiet. Ever so often she would reach over, reminding Tobin she was there with a gentle touch. 

They step out of the bath at the same time, wrapping towels around their waists. Christen shivers, reaching for her sweatshirt to change into. 

They sit on the bench in the locker room, changing at the same time but in silence between each other while the rest of the team ignores them. One can only hope that the team hadn’t heard the confrontation between Alex and Tobin in the locker room.

They ride the bus back to the hotel, Alex notably missing from the ride as Tobin sat alone in their seat row. Dawn mentions that she caught a ride with performance coaches in a team van while they do a headcount of players before driving off. Tobin wonders if it’s because of her.

She stares out the window, thinking about what would have happened if Christen let them keep going. Would they have gotten more heated? Tobin feels her anger bubbling again from the sheer consideration of confronting Alex again. And she absolutely hates it. She doesn’t like this person she’s becoming with a short fuse. In fact Tobin doesn’t like much of herself at all. 

“Come with me? Please?” 

Tobin turns her head to see Christen standing at her bus row, holding her hand out. She squints at her eyes, unsure if she can handle anything else today. Reluctantly she takes Christen’s warm hand in hers, walking along with her to a small park near the hotel. It’s empty, rolling green for a few blocks. Christen sits down with her backpack, pulling out a small protein bar and breaks it in half to offer to Tobin. She takes it slowly, plopping herself down beside Christen in the warm grass. 

“You didn’t have to-” Tobin starts but Christen’s already cutting her off and shaking her head. 

“Yes I did. Alex had no right to be upsetting you like that...can I be honest for a moment Tobes?” Christen asks as she nibbles on the protein bar. Tobin looks up at the darker skinned woman, seeing the worry etched in her grey green eyes. She bites her lip, worried about losing Christen next.

“I mean, I guess.” Tobin says quietly. Christen runs her hand through the blades of grass as she takes a breath before speaking. 

“Why do you keep Alex around? I mean like yes she’s our teammate but you don’t have to keep her close to you if she keeps treating you like this.” Christen says as she watches Tobin’s face fall. She’s biting her lower lip and trying to fight against what Christen says. 

“She’s not like-- it’s stupid Chris, I don’t,” Tobin stumbles on her words and lets out a deep sigh. Her heart knows Christen is right, that she shouldn’t be taking these blows to her heart anymore but a part of her also feels ashamed and knows that she doesn’t remember a time before she had Alex to lean on. “She’s treating me like she thinks I’m straight, but I don’t think I am and it’s my fault for not telling her until now.”

Christen gasps, zipping up her backpack and shakes her head. Tobin turns her head away from her, finding the disbelief in her eyes too much to bear.

“That’s--That’s absolutely not true Tobin. You don’t owe Alex anything. She’s hurt you so much that you don’t even see that. I...we don’t owe it to straight girls to tell them not to play with our hearts. They shouldn’t as decent people. Tobin, she made you cry and I saw the kiss--”

“You what?!” Tobin jumps to her feet, shaking her head and crossing her arms across her chest. 

“From the window of our room...I figured you’d be over the moon you’ve had a crush on her for so long--” There’s a loud  _ oomph _ as Tobin pushes Christen back before she stalks away from her. The dark haired girl stood frozen in surprise at Tobin’s push, watching her walk away.

“Fuck.”

_ And when I felt like I was an old cardigan _

_ Under someone's bed _

_ You put me on and said I was your favorite _


	3. Tried to change the ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the confrontation in which older seasoned lesbian Pinoe gives advice, Tobin gets her shit together, and the 100 cap dinner marks a change in Tobin's story.

_ And when I felt like I was an old cardigan _

_ Under someone's bed _

_ You put me on and said I was your favorite _

Tobin ended up taking a long walk around the block before heading into her room for the night, requesting to switch with Pinoe so she could be with HAO. She’s beyond pissed at Christen, for so many things. Starting with her seeing the kiss that’s turned her life upside down. 

She throws herself on the freshly made bed with her duffle in her hand and tries not to let her tears come. She feels used by Alex, and she isn’t quite sure if she can forgive Christen for knowing about the kiss the whole time. 

Soft tapping interrupts her thoughts, Heather walking through the doorway. She flashes Tobin a gentle smile, knowing the younger girl was having a difficult time considering she swapped rooms. 

“What’s going on in your noggin kid?” Heather asks, sitting on her twin-sized bed while glancing over at Tobin who was uncharacteristically curled with her knees up to her chest. 

“It’s stupid. Had a fight with Alex. And I just don’t want to deal with Christen tonight.” Tobin mumbles, looking downwards. She can feel Heather’s brows raise in confusion. Christen is someone that everyone wants to be with when they’re having a hard time. She’s kind, she listens to you, and you can’t hide your feelings from her. 

“I regret to tell you we heard. In the locker room, and I know that hurts.” Tobin looks up at Heather with a stubborn set scowl. She knew that was a chance of the confrontation. 

“Well shit.” Tobin swears, “Hated confronting her and I hate knowing everyone heard even more so.” She groans dramatically, throwing herself back into the hotel’s pile of pillows. Heather takes the opportunity to crawl on top of Tobin’s bed, buried in the pillows next to her. 

“I don’t judge you. For what you did,” Heather clarifies gently. “Tobin, Alex has been like so mean to you forever. I don’t care how much you’ve been crushing on her, something had to be said.”

Tobin glances towards Heather, her brow quirking up. “You knew she was hurting me?” She asks. Her tone isn’t one of anger or betrayal, no Tobin is just asking.

“Well,” Heather moves closer to Tobin, her hand gently on the younger girl's back like her own sisters would do when she was upset. “We’ve kind of noticed. She just seems to be demanding of you. Megan kinda pointed it out once and it was like oh wow yeah. Think you just got used to Alex being that way.” 

Tobin sniffs, bracing herself up on her elbows. “I thought she was just a friend. And then my best friend but best friends don’t feel the way I did when I saw her.” She says with a small scoff at herself. Everything was making sense in all the wrong ways now that she’d said it out loud to Christen. Heather hums in quiet acknowledgment. There isn’t much more said between the two of them as the night fades on. 




“You’re an idiot.” 

“Excuse me?” Christen looks up from where she stands, kicking off her shoes from this afternoon and putting them by the door of the hotel room. Megan is on the closer bed, bleached hair, and all. She has a copy of InStyle on her bed and a mug of tea in hand. 

“You heard me. I wasn’t kicked out of rooming with HAO for no reason. You upset Tobin and after she had her weird confrontation with the straight girl she was falling for so like?” Megan jumps straight into the questioning, making Christen’s skin crawl. 

“And? Look Tobin’s upset with me too now and I--” Christen pauses, questioning how Megan knew that Tobin was falling for Alex. Megan’s brows rise as she tries to hold in a laugh.

“Speaking as a former baby gay, Tobin is so obvious. I love her but nothing about her friendship with Alex is straight except Alex herself.” She says. “You’ve seen how she has a need to please her, she feels lost without her…”

Christen frowns, having already picked this up herself. She sits down on her bed with her arms crossed over her chest. “I think she’s scared. And I don’t know how to help her anymore.”

“But you want to help her?”

“I mean… yeah. She’s a great friend to me. I uh I saw Alex kiss her. That’s why she’s mad at me, I wasn’t honest with her. I knew she had a crush on Alex for a long time,” Christen explains to Megan, fiddling with a string on her tee. “So when I saw them kiss I figured she would be ecstatic. I mean I have never been the biggest fan of Alex, but I never thought of her as mean. Just a bit uppity if anything. But then I found Tobin crying herself to sleep in the stairwell. She fell so hard for her and Alex keeps abusing that. It was her first kiss, Pinoe.” 

Megan gets out of the bed, pulling on her beanie. 

“I’m gonna go beat that—”

“Megan!” Christen steps in her way, shaking her head. “Enough damage has been done tonight. Tobin needs to be the one to tell Alex she’s been used by her.” 

Megan agrees, hunkering back down into her bed.

-

The night of Tobin’s 100th cap creeps up far too quickly for the midfielders' liking. She’s been in sort of a silent treatment with Alex for the moment and kept her space from Christen. Tonight was all game. 

Jeff picks her up for a morning coffee before the game, catching up since they hadn’t seen each other since last Christmas. Jeff’s been starting up his own freelance photography business as he started at college in the fall. Tobin is glad for a break from the madness of camp. 

“So tonight just show your badge to security in the section. They’ll lead you to our tunnels so we can head out together. It’ll be easier since we’re all going to shower. And we’re meeting Aunt Michelle after.” She explains to him, handing over a lanyard and badge with the words “Player Family #17” on it. Jeff grins, throwing it around his neck. 

“Got it Tobes. You, me & Alex and Christen?” He confirms with her, Tobin giving a soft nod. She silently begs God that nothing goes wrong tonight. It’s just Alex and Christen. Her two friends. That’s all. Even if she and Alex are in a tiff and Christen’s not on speaking terms. 

They finish their coffee and break away so that Tobin is able to head into game day hard chill mode. Perfect opportunity to ignore the drama of the weekend she figures. That is until she opens the door to Megan Rapinoe sprawled on her bed. 

“Toby, Toby, Toby...what are we going to do about you?” She singsongs as Tobin enters into her space. Her arms cross against her chest immediately, instantly annoyed. 

“Megan. Hard chill.” Tobin says exasperatedly. She swats at the older player to get up and out of her space. The spunky blonde laughs, pulling herself up. 

“Okay, relax. I get it. You wanna chill. But I’m just here being a messenger owl between you and Pressy because whatever you said to her the other night has messed her up.” Tobin opens her mouth to reply but Megan shushes her before she can speak. “Uh uh, no talking back to me you useless lesbian. Don’t argue with me either because I know, that you know that I know and I’m correct. You fell for a straight girl who’s your best friend, and she’s hurt you badly. But Christen didn’t know that kiss hurt you. So you swallow your pride, and you apologize to the girl who’s actually been making goo-goo eyes at you for at least a year now.”

Tobin sinks into her mattress, feeling the weight of Megan’s lecture wash over her. The forward was absolutely correct, of course. She bit her lip, feeling the taste of the word  _ lesbian _ on her tongue, and wondering if that’s actually what she was. Of course, it was. Tobin looks up at Megan, the uncertainty clear on her face. Megan wraps her in a soft hug. 

“Sorry for being so blunt to you kid, you know I love ya?” She mumbles, feeling Tobin nod yes.

“I’m gonna talk to them tonight. Both of them, after my 100th cap dinner. This has just gotten so messy, so fast. I- She wanted to give me my first kiss, and we were drunk. But that didn’t make her fall in love with me. Alex, just she, kept trying to set me up with guys and she didn’t get it. It just feels like I’m some person she wants to mold into her perfect friend.” Tobin explains quietly, rubbing at her eyes. “Now please, can I get some sleep?”

Megan chuckles and leaves the room so Tobin can nap before game time as part of her hard chill ritual. 

-

The USWNT vs Costa Rica game begins with a flash and a bang as lightning strikes around the arena in Tennessee. Forced to take an early delay, the team huddles in the locker room at the 16th-minute mark. 

“I know it's getting pretty muddy out there, so the athletic trainers have reminded me to warn you to tackle and foul less. We don’t want any silly yellow cards, or even worse red because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself while sliding all over the place. This is Costa Rica, we shouldn’t have to be physical to win this. We also don’t want any injuries. Are we clear?” Jill Ellis is having a mini meeting during the delay, warning the team about the mud on the field because of the rain and lightning. It’s dying down and they should be ready to play any minute now. Tobin sighs, nodding at the warning. She’s feeling a bit of a strain on her ankle and knows she won’t play a full 90. 

“Hope it passes quickly,” She hears Christen mutter beside her in the circle. Tobin turns to face her, seeing the curly-haired forward frown and pat back her ponytail. Not her best choice to wear her hair naturally today with the rain and humidity. She nudges her gently. 

“Lucky you’re a sub,” Tobin mumbles before the whistles blow and she heads back to the game. It’s an interesting first half with dominating goals, Abby Carli, and HAO adding to the 2 goals scored before the delay. Tobin gets a few great touches and sets up some plays. She subs out in the 66th after the half, watching as Christen subs on for Carli after her. Alex scores in the final 10 minutes and Tobin’s breathless watching. She curses at herself internally, wishing that she could finally let go of Alex. 

“Great game,” Tobin offers up to Christen as they come off, celebrating the 7-2 win. The girl shrugs, taking a large gulp of water.    
  


“It’s your 100 caps, Tobes, enough about me. You’re old now.” Christen teases, trying to be playful even if she is still perturbed by Tobin’s behavior. “I’ll meet you back through the tunnels after our showers okay?”

“Oh yeah for dinner. Yeah, Jeff’s meeting us there.” Tobin replies, grabbing her boots, socks, and shin guards from the ground below her spot on the bench where she discarded them as soon as she was subbed out. Dawn suggested icing her ankle when she gets home tonight, knowing the pain could linger if she doesn’t ice and elevate. The three girls shower and meet up in uncomfortable silence, waiting for Tobin’s brother to be led to the back where they were. Alex clears her throat, feeling awkward. 

“About the other day Tobin, I had-”

“Just. Don’t. Al, I still like you. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate anyone, you know that. I just feel like sometimes I’m a cardigan you throw on the floor and pick up when it's convenient.” Tobin speaks over Alex, shaking her head. “I fell in love with the idea of you, but it wasn’t fair to either of us. You kept using me, and my love. I’m gay Alex. And I just--it took me so long to realize. I’m sorry. I expected more from when you kissed me,”

Alex blinks wide blue eyes, stepping back. She frowns, eyebrows furrowing. “Jeeze, Tobin. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I was drunk and I took advantage of you like that. I didn’t even know, I just thought you were being a prude all these years. Makes me the ass here. You’re a...a lesbian?”

Tobin lets out a sigh, feeling Alex recoil from her. She knew this was a risk but honestly figured Alex would be a bit less obvious with her discomfort because of her teammates like Abby and Megan being out. Supposes it’s different when the lesbian is in love with you.

“Yeah. I like girls Al. I always have.” Tobin mumbles, her hands fisting in her pockets. Alex is silent, pulling her jacket closer together and zipping it up. Christen steps forward to Tobin, 

“I can leave if this is too much-” She says but Tobin reaches for her cold and shaking hand. 

“No Chris I didn’t treat you right either,” Tobin states while taking a deep breath through her nose. “I was embarrassed you saw the kiss but I was also embarrassed you knew I had a crush on Alex. I didn’t know I was that obvious, and I felt so out of place once I knew that you knew. And you’ve been trying to get closer to me for a while and I shut you out in favor of chasing for Alex. It was stupid. All of this was stupid. But I wouldn’t trade your kindness for the world, Chris.” She says, looking up into Christen’s soft green eyes illuminated by the stadium lights. It’s at this moment Tobin realizes how she looked over Christen this entire time. Christen who wouldn’t leave her side that night. Christen who always commented when Tobin looked uncomfortable or sad. Christen who was always there for her and Tobin put the pieces together of just how much of an asshole she had been.

Christen’s lips curve into a smile and she squeezes Tobin’s hand. “Alex I’m sorry that I got involved in all of this, for the record. I got protective over Tobin, and it wasn’t my place.” She apologizes to Alex who’s already shrugging it off. Alex has never cared about Christen and hardly had noticed her comforting Tobin when the confrontation happened the other day. 

Jeff finally arrives, out of breath. He rolls his eyes at the group of girls. 

“You didn’t tell me the seating was all the way on the other side of the stadium Tobes!” 

_ To kiss in cars and downtown bars _

_ Was all we needed _

_ You drew stars around my scars _

_ But now I'm bleedin' _

  
  
  


The dinner is quiet, mostly. The girls feel a bit of tension between each other of awkwardness, and Tobin feels foolish but keeps up anyways. Jeff is getting along well with Christen, talking about travel photography and his last year of college. Tobin’s aunt got called back into work late so it ended up being just Jeff celebrating. Her cell buzzes during dinner.

“Mom’s on facetime,” She tells Jeff, nudging him with her right hand as they eat a carb-filled dinner of pasta. 

“Hi momma,” Tobin answers the call with a smile, seeing her mom already in her PJ’s and glasses for the night. 

“Hi pumpkin, congrats on the 100th game my little superstar!” Cindy cooes, causing Tobin’s face to flush red. Christen giggles at the affectionate names, making Tobin sink into her seat more. 

“Superstar, haven’t heard that in a while,” Alex crows, chuckling at Tobin’s obvious embarrassment.

“Mom! It’s just 100 caps, it’s nothing. I didn’t even score. Thanks though,” She replies modestly, seeing Jeff roll his eyes beside her on the facetime screen.

“She’s lying. She was great tonight. Running all over the place.” Jeff chirps, shoving Tobin gently. Christen’s watching with interest, realizing just how much Tobin hates the spotlight even from her own family. She hums quietly with the realization. 

“I saw the game Toby, there’s no need to play yourself down. Who’s that with you? Alex? She had a great game too. I’m proud of you. So, so proud. Wish I could have flown down there and hugged you myself you know? Love you. Jeff be safe getting back home dear. Oh! The press’s daughter is there too. Christen? Great game too.” Cindy says quickly as the connection disconnects and she waves goodbye. 

“Alright. Lemme pay and get you guys back to the hotel.” Jeff says as he puts down his card. Tobin protests but he’s not having it.

“Tobin, let him pay. It’s your night after all. You played 100 games, that’s really cool.” Christen adds as they stand up and head towards the door. Jeff pays at the front, waving them out and Tobin sighs. 

“I just don’t like a fuss being made over me that’s all. 100 games is like nothing, I wanna play for as long as I can, you know?” Tobin replies quietly. Alex raises a brow, confused. 

“100 is so much. You’re able to get the captain's armband now, you know? I’m so close to getting there too. Being a captain is amazing. You captain the next game!” Alex chirps, sliding into the back seat of the rental car. Christen sits silently, knowing that her career was behind theirs by years. She’s made peace with it for the most part but she also knows that it stings. 

They get out of the car and Alex makes a beeline for the hotel lobby. “Goodnight!” She calls out as she heads inside, ready to be done with the day and Tobin. Jeff rides off with a wave.

Christen and Tobin stand together in the muggy thunderstorm air, feeling a fresh storm brewing above them. “Thank you, for earlier? Tobin you didn’t have to apologize like that, and you didn’t do anything wrong-”

Tobin steps closer to Christen, shaking her head. “You’ve always been here for me. You sat in Alex’s seat on the first day of camp and you’ve been there ever since. I was too stupid to see it. I was caught up in this fantasy and used. Chris, can I…”

Tobin pauses, taking a moment to look at the reflection of the stormy sky in Christen’s green eyes. She sees swirls of clouds with stories behind them. She remembers when Christen said “we” the other night in their fight. She knows Christen likes girls too.

“Ask you on a date sometime?” 

“Of course. Yes.” Christen breathes out, leaning into Tobin. She knows Tobin’s not ready, which is why she said sometime. She needs time to decompress, to let go of Alex. And Christen knows she’ll be there beside her still. “Whenever you’re ready. Let’s change the ending of your story.” She says, leaving a feather-light kiss on Tobin’s warm cheek. 

_ 'Cause I knew you _

_ Steppin' on the last train _

_ Marked me like a bloodstain, I _

_ I knew you _

_ Tried to change the ending _

_ Peter losing Wendy, I _

_ I knew you _

_ Leavin' like a father _

_ Running like water, I _

_ And when you are young, they assume you know nothing _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! hope this is the ending you wanted! I found a bit of writers block with this one, but I think I tied it together the way that I wanted to. As always asks are open at cozydownpour.tumblr.com ! I always answer.


End file.
